Sunday, June 29, 2008
That's it. I'm not dating anymore.
My heart is too soft and squishy still, and I just can't deal. I don't know what I need to do to get myself back in the head space I need to be in to play the game, but offering myself up like this is sure as hell not it.
Maybe focusing on my home improvement projects, my friends, and my family is a good start.
Quality time with my dog, who just wants to run around and be happy, could go a long way towards keeping me content, and keeping the world in perspective.
I'm supposed to be at a party right now, and eventually I will have to tear myself away due to obligation, but I am so not in that space. Despite all sense of reason, I just want to be spooning, and pouring out waves of love where they are needed most, and feeling like I can make a positive impact.
This is the exact impulse that keeps getting me into trouble. I want to fix it, and love it, and take care of it all, and then there isn't much left for me.
Theoretically, it's early enough that this should be easy, but it feels pretty shitty all the same.