Friday, June 27, 2008

Notice of Eviction


Ok brain. Thank you for kicking in at 12:00 am. That was pretty funny, to take an entire day off, and then keep me up all night, and have me in knots all day today.
I pulled down a post because you can't decide whether or not it was too personal. I think the point of the blog is to not edit like that, brain.
I really feel like you're screwing things up for me right now. Heart and gut are supposed to be doing all the work these days, and you keep sticking your brainy nose in, and confusing everything. And for an organ that's supposed to be so smart, I really feel like you're making some stupid decisions. In fact, I don't think you should be making any decisions at all right now, unless they are completely inane and rudimentary. We had an agreement that after those big, life-altering decisions that led us here, and to Paris, you would just go on sabbatical, and let us enjoy this summer of freedom. Heart, gut, and I were really looking forward to fueling up the love tank, and enjoying summer dresses and pretty sandals.
Now we have to take action. We're evicting you. We realize that this could lead to big trouble for the rest of us (especially liver, and well, let's face it any of those gals below the waist) but we don't care. We were doing you a favour by taking charge while you kicked back and relaxed, but you're so damn stubborn! The rest of us have agreed to let you come back in the fall to assess any progress or damage we've made over the next couple of months, but for now you'll have to settle for just watching. We know how hard that will be for you.
While any upcoming job interviews or mathematical equations will surely be a challenge, we are particularly enthusiastic about allowing tongue and nose make all of the decisions about food for the summer, because they don't care how big ass is, AND YES WE REALIZE NOSE ISN'T AN ORGAN! We're also looking forward to having skin, eyes, and soul (yes, that's right, soul) take over whipping the apartment into shape.
And get this - skin is teaming up with uterus to make any and all dating decisions.
Now, now. Screaming won't change our mind.