I'm looking for new work, but I feel incredibly guilty about it because it would be a really bad time to leave the company I currently work for. That said, they can't give me more than 24 hours a week, so I've had to subsidize my income by working in a situation that is taxing at best, and they pay me peanuts while I'm responsible for a huge amount of work. I passed up a great job opportunity before due to a misplaced sense of loyalty to these people, only to have them tell me that they couldn't guarantee that my contract would be re-newed at the end of August. They want to wait and see what the new GM (who hasn't even been hired yet) has to say.
If there's one thing I've learned over the last four months, it's that sometimes YOUR needs are more important for the greater good. I suspect this is one of those situations. In fact, this is all quite familiar.
"I can't leave. It's not a functional environment, but it's sometimes creatively rewarding. I have to be loyal because I respect the level of artistry at work. They need me. I don't want to leave them high and dry."
Mamma's taking care of herself now, which means a rigid and very frugal monthly budget, and double the rent she's been paying for the last two and a half years. Nobody at my current place of employment seems overly concerned about that.
I keep seeing red cardinals. They keep landing on the ground in front of me, or lighting on branches beside me. I am used to hearing them all of the time, but not seeing them so very close. When I consult the oracle that is the Internet about the relevance of the cardinal as an omen, here is what I get:
Cardinal-This colorful bird had power to foretell good fortune or something needed was on its way. These birds brighten up our surroundings and colors our lives. We should remember this when going through life. They are friendly birds that help us by eating up weed seeds and harmful insects (including the locust). Those with the cardinal as their guide should be careful with their diet so that they don't harm themselves or dull their vitality. The male cardinal shares with responsibility of incubating the eggs. They also will often feed the female during the raising of the young. This serves to remind us to keep to our responsibilities and the importance of our personal tasks. The cardinal has a loud whistle which helps us to remember to listen carefully. This should include listening inwardly for strength in creativity and intuition.
And then, interestingly enough, I'm reading a site dedicated to explaining the cardinal as a state symbol, and at the bottom of the page is a huge banner ad that reads "THEY'LL GET ALONG WITHOUT YOU" and it's for a company called Career Builder. Crazy. All the answers really ARE on the Internet.
Perhaps if I'm lucky, I'll be one of those people who gets fired for complaining about work on their blog space, and then I can take 'em to court and retire young. I'd make a great retiree. I'd start wearing large hats and drink martinis all day long until I couldn't feel my face, and my handsome house boy has to pry the glass from my shriveled hands and put me to bed in a silky negligee.
C'mere hannnsssome. Lemme give ya a 'lil kishhh g'naghht....."
Cardinal: Recognizing your Self Importance
Cardinal reminds us that no matter what time of the day or year it is, there is always the opportunity to recognize the important of our life purpose. If a Cardinal appears, it is time to pay attention to your health and well-being. It is also a time to listen to the feminine side, the aspects of creativity and intuition. Cardinal people are in tune to the number 12. Twelve months or a year’s time is very important to a Cardinal totem person. They remind us to add “color” to our life and to remember that everything you do is important.